My New View: 10/01/2006

Monday, October 30, 2006

Decisions

Late Friday, I got a call from my lawyer. It turns out that we now have TB on the ropes...her lawyer was unprepared for us to tell him to stick his settlement and even more unprepared for us to demand a trial because she has failed to negotiate in good faith. Her lawyer was not prepared for us to have papers ready that demanded everything...her money, sole custody and residency, half the value of her home...in fact - he turned pale and asked us to prepare a settlement for him to put in front of his client before the trial date 3 weeks from now.

Needless to say...I had a lot of thinking to do this weekend. This morning finds me still undecided. I have until 4PM today to decide what course to take and I'm torn. Part of me wants to take the opportunity to end this quickly...send a settlement that will be accepted as written...yet there is another part that wants to force the trial...to make TB pay for all the crap she's put me through...to take my Son out of that environment - even though this course exposes him to all the ugliness that I've been trying to shelter him from for the past 3 years.

I've got lots of questions...I'll hopefully get answers that I can live with when I meet the lawyer today at 4. I hope that I can make up my mind...each path has it's merits...each path has it's detractions.

Until tomorrow....try to enjoy your view.

Friday, October 27, 2006

First

I want to thank you all. Your kind words and unwavering support are truly taken to heart. Believe it or not, I'm normally a private person. You all being here and sharing in my daily mutterings have allowed me to open up and share more with you than I would have thought possible 3 years ago. Thank you again.

It's strange...the first salvo that I am firing in this War of Attrition that TB has instigated is set to go off in a little less than a half hour...yet I'm more tranquil than I've been in weeks. At 10:30, while I'm in a training class for a new product my division is rolling out, my lawyer is filing papers in court demanding that we move immediately to trial because of TB fucking up yet another settlement. After those papers are filed he is filing another set asking for her money, sole custody and residency, half her house and probably some additional things that I hadn't thought of.

The war is about to begin in earnest...things are going to get very ugly...yet I am so far beyond caring about it or her - that I'm at peace. My only concern through out this process is that I don't want my Son to be caught in the middle...I don't want him to be hurt through this...I don't want him to hear any of the shit that will be getting thrown back and forth...I don't want him to hate either of his parents. TB is truly The BITCH...but she is his mother and he will need her someday...for something, I'm sure of it. I don't want him to pity her either...I want him to make up his own mind about her.

I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend and I will be spending a lot of time just relaxing and enjoying my view. I hope that you all get a chance to enjoy your own views today and this weekend.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Now...

Today's post is a little rough... sorry in advance.

What planet are you from?

What made you think that the paperwork that you paid a small fortune to have drafted and sent was even worth the cost of the paper it was printed on??

What makes you think that I'm going to ever give your parents the corn out of my shit... let alone $40,000???

Congratulations, you Stupid Fucking Bitch - this is now the 3rd time that you have intentionally screwed up settling this fucking divorce without a trial... and just like baseball - you're out!!

Now you have made it necessary for me to beg for money from my Family so that I can fight your bullshit in court.

Now you have taken a tense situation that lasted too long and turned it into outright war. Everything that follows from this point forward is completely and totaly on you and is a direct result of your being a stupid, greedy, pea-brained BITCH!!!!

Now, I go after your finances...even the stuff that you think you've got hidden.

Now, I file for maintainence payments, since you make more than me.

Now, I wipe my ass with the joint parenting agreement that we agreed to and I re-file for sole custody and residency, oh yeah and the support that goes with it.

Now, I take half of each of the retirement savings accounts that you have - yes all of them - the one from work and the 3 that your parents and grandmother have been paying into since you were 10...I know I'm only eligible for the portions paid in and earnings during the 9+ years of hell that I have been married to you, but it'll do.

Now, I demand that you sell the house your parents gave you while we are still married - it's a marital asset and I want half.

You wanted a war, Bitch... well, in the words of Doc Holiday in Tombstone, I'm your Huckleberry.

Have a nice day.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Soon...

Soon...I'll get to hold you...touch your soft skin...see your sweet smile. Soon, I'll be able to look into your eyes and find the secrets to all the mysteries of the world.

Soon...I'll see you, my 'nephew'...and teach you all the things that your Daddy will get in trouble for. Welcome to the world Max...you and I have a long road to travel ahead...and I'm looking forward to each step of the journey.

I just need to kick this dang cold first!!!

Last night I got a call from one of my Best Friends in this world...she had just delivered Max about 6 hours earlier and was floating from a combination of joy, endorphins and self-regulated pain reduction. I received this picture earlier today and wanted to share this chubby little guy with you all. As soon as I can finally be free of this cold, I'll get to see him in the flesh...I'll fill you all in then.

I'm going to go and figure out what to get as a gift for Mommy and Baby....enjoy your view today...I'm going to be enjoying mine.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Umm...No.

Before I get to the stuff I wanted to post today...I want to let those of you that made the request know that there will be no pictures posted because there never have been (and never will be) any pictures of yours truly wearing any kind of tights or spandex because I have never worn (and will never wear) any kind of tights or spandex. Sorry to disappoint, but you'll just have to use your imaginations.

Now for today's stuff...

I had a meeting this morning at my Son's school. Knowing that TB was going to be there and that she was going to cause problems, I went in armed with a smile and the attitude that nothing...and I mean NOTHING...was going to change for the negative - he's made too much progress to be labeled and shoved into a niche...I want him to keep growing. Well...the meeting went as I expected....my smile wasn't enough to keep TB from doing her best to keep the boy down.

Thanks to some good advice (that I actually followed) I kept my smile and repeatedly spoke quietly, calmly and rationally...I wasn't sure if I was being heard at first, but this approach seems to have worked - nothing new has been added. My Son gets to keep growing with minimum external input from the school's special services. Now he just needs to keep doing his best and life is good...

So, I'm going to just relax a bit today and enjoy my view....I hope you get to enjoy a view of your own...

Monday, October 23, 2006

In Darkest Night...

This morning as I sat here thinking about what to post...I got a call from one of my sales representatives. During our talk he made a reference to me being 'more vigilant than Green Lantern'. Having been a HUGE fan of Green Lantern comics as a kid, I took this as a compliment and thanked him. I've been thinking about Green Lantern since.

The sentient beings that wore the power rings and were members of the Green Lantern Corps were individuals who were "utterly honest and born to overcome great fear"...I always admired that the Green Lantern's powers were based solely upon his will to do the right thing. They were guardians of the light in an ever darkening universe.

I may not have the ring...and I sure don't wear the tights...but in my own way I am as much a Green Lantern as Hal Jordan (the 2nd Green Lantern). I spend each day trying to help hold back the darkness, in myself and those I care for. Some days it is all power of will...others it's a simple smile that does the trick...but I will always do whatever I can to be that source of light.

"In brightest day,
In darkest night,
No evil shall escape my sight.
For those who worship evils might,
Beware my power...
Green Lantern's light!"

I'm going to recharge my ring...caffiene calls...while I'm off, try to enjoy your views...I'll be enjoying my own.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Introspection...

I've been looking at this blank post window for almost 3 hours now...each time I start to write the words dry up on me. As a result, I've gotten a bit introspective today... and I wonder about a bunch of things. Since I can't find answers within... maybe you all can help...

Do you read between the lines of all that I write?

Do you hear the unspoken... unwritten words of my heart, mind and soul?

Do my words impact your daily life...or are they like a commercial break during your favorite show - mildly amusing, sometimes touching, but once heard - quickly forgotten?

Can you see me... the real person behind these words?

Who do you think me to be?

So many questions...any answers you care to provide will help...time to get out of my head...tonight (after I drop off my Son) I think I'll build a fire in the firepit, open a bottle of wine and watch the stars...

Try and enjoy your view today...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Deserved

Something a little different from me today, boys and girls. I'm going to just sit and enjoy my view...hope you all get to do the same.

A rebirth,
a new view,
an unwritten future.

Breathing,
releasing the past,
learning to be.

Standing,
learning to walk,
yearning to fly.

Growing,
moving ahead,
living the life deserved.

A new horizon,
a path less traveled,
destination unknown.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Monday Mumblings

So the quiet weekend that I had planned was shot out of the water with a single phone call. Turns out that TB managed to come down with the flu. Since there was no way that I was going to let my Son stay in the house with her while she was running a fever and running to the bathroom constantly. So I went and got him and we had a really great time, just hanging out, eating poorly and watching bad tv.

This morning he got up and got ready for school with no hassles, and I got to work only 20 minutes later than usual. TB called this morning and claims that her fever broke and that she was at work, so she'll pick him up after-school. I'll miss him...until tomorrow night when I get him for our Boy's Night Out...

Have a great day everyone...enjoy the view if you can...I'm enjoying mine...

Friday, October 13, 2006

VICE FRIDAY

I've apparently delayed as long as I can to get to this topic...Mist has had Vice on the brain since I mentioned the word earlier this week. So, Mist...and everyone else....Welcome to Vice Friday!

I'm just going to make this simple and at the same time almost work safe...click on the words The End at the bottom of the page. Thank you for finding and sharing such a nice image, Sugar...I couldn't resist using it today.

I'm going to enjoy a quiet and restful weekend, hope you all get to do the same.

As Porky said That's All Folks...

THE END

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ripples

Ripples, not in a pond...but in my life.

Each morning, a new view...a clean slate to try again...I am a smooth pond...then come the 'stones'. Those little things that happen every day...some are bad...some are good.

Each disturbs the surface of my pond...each sending ripples racing for the distant shore...crashing into other ripples...creating waves and whorls, rip-tides and undertows...some to be weathered and others to be avoided.

These days the good outweighs the bad...the ripples create a pleasant place to be...the view is good - I'm going to enjoy it. Hope you get to enjoy your own today.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Muse-less...

Today I find myself Muse-less...uninspired...unfocused. My mind is awash with millions of thoughts...none that would make sense if chained together and dropped into a post.

So rather than embarass myself with nonsense...I'll just sit back and try to enjoy the view today. I hope you all get a chance to do the same....

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Of Virtue....Not Vice

Over the centuries there is but one virtue that has been written on and spoken of time and again as being more important than any other. It doesn't matter who is quoted...the Bible, Cervantes, Master Po (read the quote below and ask if you still don't know the reference) or even me...the virtue remains the same.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Chinese proverb:
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.

Helen Keller:
We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.

John Quincy Adams:
Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.

Alexandre Dumas:
All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope.

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra...Don Quixote (II, 23):
Paciencia y barajar. (Patience and shuffle the cards.)

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow...Tales of a Wayside Inn--The Student's Tale (pt. I):
All things come round to him who will but wait.

Master Po:
Patience Grasshopper.

Mr. G:
Nowhere to rush to...time is no issue...walking this winding road less traveled one step at a time...enjoying the view each step of the way...for as long as it takes.

Enjoy your views today my friends...and be patient while I enjoy my own...one never knows when Vice will be the topic of discussion...

Monday, October 09, 2006

What's The Big Deal???

It's just a little dish... only 3 or maybe 4 pieces in it... but it's different than the one before it... where's the harm?? Try it... if you don't like it, there'll be another dish or 2 brought around in moments... crab puff... chicken dumplings... stuffed eggplant... what's the big deal??? It's only Dim Sum...

Yes Friends... I fell victim to one of my favorite meals yesterday at The Phoenix... the single best Chinese Restaurant in all of Chicago's Chinatown... which, by definition, makes it the single best Chinese Restaurant outside of Kowloon. You see... I woke with this craving for Dim Sum... it hits me usually 3 or 4 times a year... and usually I can count on my Family joining me. I told my Son that we were going on an adventure... called my siblings and told them to meet us... and off we went. A quick shout to my parents insured that my wallet was going to remain untapped for this extravaganza... seeing how Dad can't pass up Dim Sum either.

An hour by train from the suburbs to Chinatown and we entered a land of exotic food and mystery pricing. No matter how many times I go...no matter how many dishes we order...we always wind up with a bill that's the same general total... I think they assess your net worth while you sit and enjoy the meal and they charge what they think you can pay.... one of these days I'll test this by showing up with a smaller party or dressed like a transient... but I digress...

Since the Phoenix is the best, you can expect a 45 minute to an hour wait - possibly even longer if you don't speak the language and have a Chinese passport... unless you have a secret weapon. Upon seeing that the Hostess yesterday was the eldest daughter of one of the owners, I sent my Son to get our name on the list. He went up and spoke to her for a second and somehow the expected wait turned into "I'll have a table for you in a second, Cutie." We were ushered upstairs to a table with a view of the Chicago skyline within 2 minutes and had the first dishes on the table within 2 more. My Dad looked at me and asked "How does he do that?" You know... I'm still trying to come up with an answer that works...

The only problem with going for Dim Sum yesterday was that I managed to miss the entire destruction of the Buffalo Bills by my UNDEFEATED Chicago Bears... but all things being equal - I enjoyed the day.

I hope you all get to enjoy your own views today...I'm doing my best to enjoy mine...

Friday, October 06, 2006

Superman??

I don't know why...but for some reason the song 'Superman' by Five for Fighting was the background music in my dreams last night. All I remember from the dreams are those Eyes again...and the song that still echoes through my head...

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird...I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd...but dont be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It's all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy...or anything...

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
I'm only a man
Looking for a dream

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

It's not easy to be me

I'm going to try to enjoy my view today and over the weekend...I hope you all get to enjoy your own...

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Checking In...

Howdy Campers!!

Sorry I've been so quiet lately, but I took a long weekend and then realized that I had nothing to say...

Still don't really have much that I care to discuss so consider this my way of letting you all know that I'm still around.

I hope that you're all getting to enjoy your own views...I'm doing my best to enjoy my own.

Oh yeah....for my Friend that's got their hands full right now - there are two things that you can count on besides death and taxes...1 - I'm here for you and 2 - I'll keep the promise I made.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Here I Sit...

Here I sit...contemplating the first few hours that I am officially a year older...thinking back across all that the past 12 months have held...the good...the bad...the indifferent.

I've had relationships change...some are continuing to grow..others have changed the course they traveled...while I cherish the place that each is now, I look forward to seeing where each of them go over the coming year.

I've finally heard The Band start playing the final bars of my Divorce Cha-Cha...this dance has been going on for far too long and I'm just plain tired...I look forward to dancing to my own tune.

I've proudly watched my Son growing and thriving...spending time with friends and family...becoming even more of his own person.

I've quietly stood aside as my oldest friend in the world let his wife isolate him from almost everyone that he knows...she's managed to keep him from talking to everyone that stood up for him at their wedding - except me. No matter what she does - she will never be able to fully drive me from his life...we've known each other for far too long...we became family too long ago.

While I may not have reached the Place of Perfect Tranquility that is promised in Zen Teachings...I am well on my way down the path.

No matter what the year ahead may hold...I look forward to each new morning and all that the day may hold.

I am happy...

I am whole...

Most importantly...I am me.

Try and enjoy your own view today, my friends...I am absolutely going to be enjoying mine.

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